Giving Support and Receiving

Get Accomplished with Heather

Despite many people thinking I’m super organised, all the time, it’s not true. I’m only as organized as I am, because left to my own devices, without strategies and a lot of self-care in place, my thinking can become quite chaotic and my world then reflects this.

I can get easily overwhelmed and my habitual state when this happens is to ‘freeze.’ Then nothing gets done (apart from staring at my iPhone, which happens a lot!)  I’ve been doing a lot of work over the past couple of years to release trauma from my nervous system. It’s an ongoing practice under the incredible support and mentoring of Anita Kaiser from Anita Kaiser Wellness. Check her out, she’s bloody Brilliant. I continue to learn to regulate my nervous system regardless of the challenges I face with her support.

Earlier this year, a few weeks before I became quite seriously ill with a relapse of an autoimmune Thyroid condition, I stopped following the diet which I believe had been keeping me well.  I had a lot of travel in the space of a few weeks. I’ve always stuck to ‘I’ll follow my food regime strictly at home, but eat what I want when I’m out.’  It always served me well and gave me a balance of being able to enjoy the pleasures of ‘normal’ food. But keeping myself healthy with the majority of my meals being gluten, dairy, and egg free and starting my day with a pint of celery juice at home.  However whether or not the five weeks of ‘normal’ food was the catalyst of the return of my autoimmune condition or whether it would have come back anyway, I will never know.

During my relapse, the planning and implementation processes I’ve developed enabled, me to maintain my work and business.  There wasn’t much growth, but that’s ok. I didn’t experience a decrease in revenue either, which under the circumstances was a massive win.  I’m still navigating the relapse and its consequences, one of which is a huge decrease in energy.

I’ve experienced low energy throughout my life. I believe it’s one of the things that make me good at what I do.  When you have low energy you have to develop ways to conserve it. That means discovering ways to do things efficiently, working out what is your minimum viable workload and prioritisation becomes key.  When people meet me they wouldn’t know I had low energy unless I told them.  That’s because I’ve learned how to manage it fairly well.

Whilst I was unwell, there were things I’d normally do that fell by the wayside. The filing and ironing, the ironing room and the guest room became a bit of a dumping ground.  I also lost all enthusiasm for my healthy diet. As much as I knew getting back to it would speed up my recovery to wellness. And, as much as I tried to implement it, it just didn’t happen. 

A fridge full of fresh celery and cucumber went to waste which I felt terrible about. Quick and easy, but less healthy food options became my choice and habit. It takes time, effort, energy and planning to maintain any healthy diet, however my energy was low and my home was cluttered. Getting back in the saddle was a real challenge.

In walks my AMAZING sister.  I shared that I was struggling. I knew getting back on the wagon with my diet would improve my energy levels and recovery. However, I couldn’t face organising myself and that sometimes I just don’t have the energy to conjure, shop for and prepare delicious healthy ‘free from’ meals. Plus juicing a pint of celery juice a day is an industry in itself.  What was once a habit I followed with ease, became a struggle and chore.  My new habit was easy, less healthy food which didn’t give my body what it needed.  She offered to come and stay for a few days to help get me back on track.

The support she gave me is something I am eternally appreciative of.

I had such an internal struggle I wanted to say YES PLEASE!!!! But part of me felt bad about accepting. That old ‘shoulding’ part of myself, thinking I ‘should’ be able to do it by myself, that I know what to do, that I’ve done it before and that she’s so busy, she doesn’t need the extra ‘burden’ of looking after me. 

I know though that being willing and open to receive is such an important part of success.  That she is quite capable of deciding what she can, can’t, wants and doesn’t want to do.  So I made an internal review of what was ‘my business’ and what was ‘her business’ and trusted her to be honest and said a wholehearted “Yes, please.”

She did SO much for me whilst she was here I could write for hours about it.  I had my fresh celery juice every morning she was here. She juiced multiple batches of celery to freeze, so that on days I don’t have the energy, although it might not give as much of the health benefits, it’ll keep me in the habit of having daily celery and it’ll certainly have more health benefits than having none at all! 

She washed and chopped 6 days worth of celery, so I can just put it through the juicer in the coming days.  Prepared countless healthy dinners from scratch to freeze.  She did gardening – working to resurrect my beloved Heather plants which we lost in the summer drought, whilst I caught up with my filing. She created laminated recipe cards, so I can keep the freezer stocked up when I have the energy, she wallpapered my hall cupboard and helped me go through my wardrobe and remove all the clothes that are now too small for me.  We journalled, meditated and danced together every day!

Importantly, she helped me find ways to make it easy to carry on with these healthy habits once she went home. 

It brings tears to my eyes thinking about just how much support she gave me. I told a friend what she’d done and she said “She must really love cooking,” and straight away I said, “No, she really Loves me.”  And it’s true.  Although she found she enjoyed cooking here, she doesn’t really cook much at home.  She has a lot of passions but I wouldn’t say that cooking is one of them. However, she came and spent hours and hours cooking for me.  My friend said her Love Language must be; Acts of Service, which I think is very true. (Check out ‘The five Love Languages’ by Gary Chapman.’)

The level of my appreciation for her is always huge, but this week I felt overwhelmed by the tremendous amount of help she gave so generously.  I felt I could never repay her for all that she’d done.  

I felt massively supported, with new strategies to help me going forward, I’d re-created healthy habits, I had so much more clarity and I’d re-prioritised, none of which would have happened that week had she not come to support me.  By the time she left, my healthy eating regime was not only kick-started. It also felt totally doable to the point that it became hard to remember why I was finding it so difficult to reinstate.  Her week with me was truly transformational and I felt supported, uplifted, empowered and energised. It was the most positive I’ve felt, since I fell ill.

I found it so interesting that she didn’t seem to grasp just what a difference, what a huge positive impact she’d made in my life in a few short days.  She said, “We do what we can don’t we.” And “You always support me,” she said “It’s teamwork isn’t it, we did it together,” although all those things are true, I really wanted her to receive the huge appreciation I felt for her and to know the incredible impact she’d had on my life. 

She has so much energy compared to me and I was desperate not to tire her out. However, she wasn’t tired at all.  She’s used to being on her feet all day.  I found it frustrating that she wouldn’t ‘own’ what a catalyst for change she’d been. Also, how she’s worked pretty much nonstop to help me out of overwhelm and into healthy habits for her entire 6-day trip. 

My sister has always been incredibly humble, well not as a child perhaps!  We were awful to each other as children. But since adulthood, she is one of the kindest, most generous, resourceful, smartest, courageous, and lovable humans I know.  It is such a privilege to be her sister.

I learned from this experience that when someone is appreciating you for supporting them in business or life, allowing them to appreciate you and appreciating the appreciation is a gift in itself.  It’s a gift for you to receive appreciation and it’s a gift for them, when you wholeheartedly accept their appreciation, it becomes an exchange of appreciative energy if you will allow it, where both parties get to bask in appreciation vibes. My sister has done enough for me to last me several lifetimes. So, if she chooses not to fully embrace the appreciation, she gets a free pass!  I appreciate her wholeheartedly anyway.

If you’d like to know how I can support you in Business and life, through planning and implementation support, book a call! We can chat and see if my services are a fit for you.  If not, I’ll likely know someone who can help.

If you live in the South of England and wish you had the support of someone like my sister? Drop me a line, and I’ll put you in touch!!!